Life In The Sieghart Mansion
by HoiHoiSoi
Summary: The Sieghart mansion lies in the middle of Bermesiah where a small family lives a quiet life. Unless the Grand Chase decides they haven't payed their rent enough. But non the less, life in the Sieghart mansion is normal. Discover the lives of these few individuals which are beyond the limits of nonsense and cats! The ultimate combination for destruction and cookies!
1. Chapter 1

**The Evil Closet of Doom**

Sieghart was a man. A man of confidence. A man who had lived 600 years old but still had the face of a child. Nothing could scare him after living for so long. Nothing except…

…THE CLOSET OF DOOM!

"OH! DAMN IT! SIEGHART! JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY! YOUR CLOSET IS NOT CURSED! OKAY!" Ley screamed at him while trying to push him into his room. Her pink hair fluttered with sweat as she did.

"But the closet has monsters in them! I saw one just the other day!" Sieghart resisted. It was another day in the Sieghart household. Ley was trying to get him to go to bed while Sieghart tried to get out of his room. Although Ley was his wife to be, he felt that he could not trust her yet. She hadn't dated him enough to get him to sleep in his own bed. If you consider about 100 years of dating short that is.

Ley kept on pushing. Harder and harder. Making him enter little by little. She felt a numbing pain down there. Friction between two surface made her pulsate. Sweat filled her neck and slender limbs. Ley started to moan. Moan from the stress. The stress of…

"STOP MAKING THIS SEEM LIKE SOME STUPID EROTIC SCENE! I'M JUST TRYING TO GET SIEGHART TO SLEEP AND YOU AREN'T HELPING!"

Ah, sorry…

In any case, Sieghart wouldn't budge and after an hour of trying or so, Ley gave up and they went downstairs for milk and cookies. The time then was somewhere about 2 at night already and both of them weren't in bed yet. The rest of the family was sleeping already though. Ley was staring at Sieghart, Sieghart stared at Ley.

"You have big boobies."

He received a frying pan to the face.

"I don't get how your closet can be cursed okay? There just isn't such a thing as curses! Oh wait, in Grand Chase such things do exist." She paused for a second. "But why your closet Sieg? Why? Who would want to kill you? I can't think of one. Girls fall for you. Heck! Even boys fall for you! The only ones that would curse you is me and both my fists which I will shove down your throat if you don't go to bed already!" She looked at Sieghart in the eye while saying that.

"Middle-Aged Lady!" Was Sieghart's response.

"I'M DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT COMING FROM YOU! YOU OLD HAG!" Ley pounded her fist on the table.

"OBJECTION! I AM NOT AN OLD HAG! I AM AN OLD MMMMMMMAAAAAAANNNNNNN!" Sieghart was slammed in the face with a LED TV.

Ley was sitting down quietly looking at the poor poor boy who was suffering from extreme bleeding and most likely death from piercing glass and microchips. She looked at him and looked back in the kitchen. And then she got a brilliant idea. An idea so genius, even she couldn't have thought better herself!

"I will lure him to his room with food!"

Yup, genius. And so with that, Ley made sandwich after sandwich. After making about 50 of them she piled them in a container and went straight up stairs. Sieghart had recovered and followed her like a small lost little puppy getting ready to be trampled by the cute boobilicious master. If that word even exists in any case.

And so they reached Sieghart's room. Only Ley entered. She opened the closet and shoved the entire container of sandwiches in between of Sieghart's clothes. And then she walked out.

"If you want some supper. You're gonna have to go get it from the closet of doom." She stood outside the door. But Sieghart was smart, he was very smart.

He did not go in!

And they were stuck outside his room, waiting and waiting. Eventually Ley could not stand it anymore. She took Sieghart and threw him into his room and then quickly, she shut the door and used the spare key she kept between her boobs to lock it.

"That should keep him inside for tonight."

And then she heard something. The smashing of glass. A man's scream. A thud on the garden below. She was left speechless for a moment and then she just turned to her room. She entered it and lay on the bed. And then, it happened. The worst possible thing happened.

"Wake up! Wake up on a Saturday night!"

Her alarm started ringing. She could hear and she felt like destroying it. But she couldn't. Cause it was…

…EXPENSIVE!

And so she woke up. Got some coffee and started to write Sieghart's will and testimony. Sieghart on the other hand slept in the garden that whole day. And they lived happily ever after. That is until the cow jumped over the moon.

Where it shall be revealed with steps and tips in CHAPTER 2!


	2. Chapter 2

**My Friend Is A Wall**

Rufus is another resident in the Sieghart Mansion. He is the oldest of his siblings. His red eyes and pure pale skin was a treasure to many. But you see, Rufus, is not normal! Wait, that applies for everyone else too! Well, Rufus you see is a very sad boy. He hardly has any friends because of his good looks which clearly proves there is some kind of problem already! And that is why Ley and Sieghart often gets worried for him. Especially, right about now….

"How are you today?"

"…."

"I see you're fine! Well, last night was pretty good. Dreamt of some really odd stuff!"

"…."

"You too!"

"…."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

From a far, Sieghart and Ley was watching. Their adopted son was talking to the wall in their living room again.

"I'm getting worried for him, Sieg. He is a healthy boy and all but he seems to be talking to a wall…" Ley looked at Sieghart with concerned.

"Probably he is talking to our neighbours next door?" Sieghart defended his own son.

"BUT THERE ARE NO NEIGHBOURS NEXT DOOR! THIS IS THE ONLY FRIGGIN BUILDING IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE!" Ley exclaimed.

"Really? Wow! I didn't know!" Said Sieghart. He received a keyboard in the mouth.

"You've lived here for 600 years, longer than any of us and you don't know!" Ley seemed to think that her husband to be was an idiot. In which he was!

"BOOBIES!" Sieghart received a Hi-Fi set down his throat.

Ley approached her son, Rufus. And slowly gave him a pat on the shoulder. She looked at him and he looked at her. There was a moment of silence between the two. Then Rufus dived down. Down onto her….

….BOOBIES!

Ley took a knife and stabbed Rufus in the back. Rufus is now dead. Wait! We can't end it like that! Not when the main character is in trouble! Rufus had a backup plan however! It seemed he used Kage Bunshin No Jutsu and that was one of his clones! Genius desu!

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL THE MEN IN THIS FAMILY! ALSO STOP USING OTHER MOVESETS OUT OF GRANDCHASE! WE MIGHT GET COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENTS !"

Sorry, couldn't help it…

In any case, it was troubling watching their son, Rufus talk to the wall. I mean. What was wrong with talking to a wall? I don't see much of a problem right? When I was younger I used to talk to walls a lot. Kind of. Wait, what am I saying here?

So Rufus continued his very interesting conversation with the wall. It seems they were talking about girls and cookie jars. Sieghart couldn't really care less. Ley was a wee bit worried about her son. And so she decided to visit the person closest to Rufus.

The Wall!

"I can't believe I'm doing this…." She said as she stood facing one wall of the living room. She took a chair and sat down for a moment.

"So how are you today?" She said. And the wall's response was.

"…"

"I see, you aren't one to talk right?" She asked politely.

"Oh, sorry I was having some snacks so I didn't notice you there." It answered!

"Wait! You can talk!" Ley exclaimed.

"Of course I can talk!" the wall replied. It was like Ley was going crazy.

"So what is wrong with my son? Rufus!" She asked.

"Huh? Don't know. Don't care. I'm going to have some cookies now." It responded. It's response was too familiar! Too familiar! Ley smashed the wall open. It was the wall connecting the kitchen and living room. Sieghart was getting his hand stuck in the cookie jar.

"Honey! My hand is stuck in the cookie jar again!" Sieghart would be stuck in the washing machine the rest of the day, so it didn't really matter anyways.

"Let me out!" Sieghart pleaded as he struggled to open the lid of the washing machine. Ley couldn't really care less. "Why not you try calling his brother!" He shouted again. Ley took note of this.

"You mean the debt collectors? I really hate contacting the Grand Chase, they've destroyed almost all of my friends' place just cause they were late for their rent or something."

"But it's your only chance! And let me out already! I have important business to attend to!"

"Like what?"

"Eating cookies!"

Sieghart was left there for the rest of the day.

Ley on the other hand picked up the phone and started to dial the number to the Grand Chase.

"Hello. Thank you for choosing The Grand Chase! Press one for English. Press two for French. Press three for Italian. Press four for Chinese. Press five for Malay."

"1"

"For Rent and Dept inquiries press one. For storming castles to beat up bosses press two. For your credit card usage billing press three. For contacting to one of our service providers press four."

"4"

"Thank you for choosing The Grand Chase. We are currently directing your line to our main call center. Please hold while we do."

"…."

"Please note that all calls are recorded for quality and survey purposes. We are now directing you to the main call center. Please hold."

"…."

"Having problems with your car tyres? No problem! Just get insurance today. With the wide variety of insurances we provide, it will not be a problem at all. Just choose your package and you are ready to go! Contact The Grand Chase for more inquires on the insurance for your car tyres!"

"…"

"Our line is still busy. Your estimated wait time is 1 minute 24 seconds."

"….."

"Ever felt like you need a vacation? Ever felt like you wanted to just let loose and go for a break. Well, now you can! We are offering trips to the Xenia continent where you will be treated like a king in the 5 star hotel 'The Temple of Cuatal'. Where we have furries there to comfort you! Packages vary from as low as 120 GP! Come and sign up today!"

"….."

"Thank you for waiting. Your call will now be directed."

"….."

"Hello?"

"Hello. I am here to enquire about some phone numbers."

"Yes Ma'am. What do you need to know?"

"In the Grand Chase there is a boy named Lass, I need to get a hold of him. Possibly can you give me his number or something."

"Ma'am, we are not allowed to give you our operator's numbers. Sorry."

"Lass, if you're the one talking here I'm just calling to say your brother is talking to walls again."

"WHAT! HE IS!"

"SO IT WAS YOU!"

"I'm just earning some part time cash, okay? So what is wrong with my brother again?"

"He is talking to walls."

"Not that again. Have you taken him to see a psychiatrist?"

"No…."

"Well, you probably need to. He is having his 'I just broke up with my girlfriend so I'm talking to my next one' syndrome. And we've seen it before, he somehow gets so demoralizes he wouldn't mind dating a wall."

"Wait, you mean he had a girlfriend?"

"Must be. The guy is way popular around Bermesiah."

"I see. Now I will have to whip him real good."

"Wait! He doesn't stand pain so good. Hello? Hellooo?"

"*toot* *toot* *toot*"

"Ah well."

And so after that day, Ley had finally concluded that her son was not a nut job. And also on that day, Rufus had eyes as red as blood. And that was how he got cured of his love sickness. From Ley's torture. The End!

Next time on Life In The Sieghart Mansion! We will explain the theories on how cow and jump over the moon in which I totally forgot in this chapter! Stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

**The Cow Who Jumped Over The Moon**

There was once a girl. A girl who was said to be able to jump over the moon. Many people have searched for this legend but most of them come out empty. But there really was such a girl. A girl who lived in the Sieghart Mansion. She was known as 'The Cow Who Jumped over the Moon'.

*Boing! Boing! Boing!*

"Hey! Dairy cow! Wanna lift?" An anonymous person shouted in Mari's direction. Out came a missile from her bag pack.

"Die, scum." And with that she threw it and half of the Grand Chase Academy was set on fire.

Mari was about 15 years old and she was a student at the Grand Chase Academy. But she was going for a course in engineering and science instead of the normal course of finance and loan sharkenism. Whatever that word is. The Grand Chase Academy creates their own words okay? It's not like I wanted to use them here. I mean, I'm just the author that's all. I don't control how the story goes. It's all set in stone by the people in the story which is clearly written by me whom I control. Clearly.

In any case, Mari was a bright student. Extremely bright. Her grades were one of the highest in the entire GCA (Grand Chase Academy) and she also had one of the largest pair of boobies in the entire academy which gave her the name 'Dairy Cow'. But one thing not many people know is that Mari has jumped over the moon. Once.

"I can still remember like it was yesterday" She would often say.

"I was 5 years old back then. And I was in kindergarten. And we were playing in the park. Then we decided to play astronauts and took a rock to be the moon. I walked across it. I jumped over the moon." And that was how she jumped over the moon. Kinda I guess. Kids and their imagination. But still! That is how you jump over the moon if you are super deprived of money!

And so that was how the cow jumped over the moon. And so back to the main plot line. So Mari was a sweet girl. Very intelligent, could act like your personal pillow and a very considerate girl who wouldn't mind killing you just for saying she is a 'dairy cow'. Next to which of course, she had this thing for animals. They all loved her. Only to be later dissected and reconstructed into half robotic nuclear bioweapon animals. Her favorite animal is the bird as it can travel by land or by sea. And explode on any targets she disliked. In other words she was a Genius Desu!

"Hey! Mari! Hold it right there!" There was a scream that came from behind

"Ughh! It's her again…." Mari turned behind only to see a warrior in green charging at her.

"Lire Punch!" Somehow that was Lire normal greeting to Mari. She reached out her right hand and made it into a fist and then aimed for Mari's face.

"Mari Punch…" Mari lifted out her right hand and made it into a fist in Lire's direction. Both of them collided. However only Mari's punch connected! And she wasn't even putting any effort into it.

"Im…impossiburu!" Lire exclaimed in the most Japanese voice ever desu. Although Japanese doesn't exist in the Grand Chase world, oh wait! No! They do have a Japanese server if I'm not wrong!

"You're shorter than me Lire, you get the picture right?" Mari was as blunt as ever. So blunt, her words couldn't even cut pie. And pie is GGGGGOOOOOOOOODDDDDD! Wait, what the!

Lire was clearly unhappy and so she decided to sexually harass Mari in the most K+ rated way so far. She jumped to her feet and quickly her hands reached for the treasure and then with enormous strength she grabbed both of them!

"KYAA!" Mari shrieked. She felt her pulse rate rising. Saliva was salivating. Watermelons were being harassed. Quickly, she pressed a button on the top of her hand. Her bag pack exploded. That included Lire herself. She flew into the sky and landed in a forest far far away. And now that she was gone, Mari continued her way back home.

Walking through the thick lush forests of Bermesiah during the evening was fun. Monsters were playing with each others. Wolves were feeding on dead rabbits. People were getting kidnapped and bullied. Giant snakes strangled people to death. Yup, just another day in the Bermesian Forest. While she enjoyed the sights and the sounds she finally reached the gorge of oath and met her good friend Mister Giant Drillmon. She said hi to him while he was pummeling some humans to death and headed straight across the gorge.

She continued on and on until she finally reached a fork in the road. She took the right one and travelled down a bit more. And finally she reached back home. Back to the Sieghart mansion. She pushed open the door.

"I'm home!" She exclaimed as she entered through the door.

"Ah! You're just in time! Your friend just arrived too!" Ley turned to Mari. They were in the living room. And her so called friend that was sitting on the couch opposite of Ley and Sieghart was none other than Lire. Mari looked at the ceiling. There was a hole in it. Face palm.

Mari walked to the table and sat down next to Lire. "You made it here?" She asked looking at Lire munching away like a squirrel on the almond cookies Ley had made. She nodded with intent and finished the cookies quickly. In response to that, Mari nodded back to her. And then Lire did the most obvious thing to do!

"You're open Mari!" She exclaimed and then grabbed onto her right boob with one hand. Sieghart got up from his seat.

"Nobody sexually assaults my daughter." He said it with such rage that steam came pouting out from his head. He dived at Mari and grabbed her other boob. "Only I can do it!" He exclaimed. Mari was twitching with anger already. Both the idiots were still at it, messaging her boobies.

"They say that messaging boobies will make girls lactate!" Lire exclaimed.

"What! Really!" Sieghart looked at Ley and then extended his left hand towards her chest as well. This was of course with much intention. And just as he was about to touch it. Sieghart felt his right hand get cold and then suddenly burn on fire. He turned back to Mari. She was pouring gasoline and lighting it on his hand. Then she turned to Lire and did the same thing.

"GWAHA!" Both Lire and Sieghart jumped up and started running around the house, burning curtains and furniture.

"Looks like this month's bill is going to go up again, mom." Mari spoke in a calm and collected voice to Ley.

"I guess so. Why does this happen so often?" Ley replied Mari.

While the house was getting burned down and both Sieghart and Lire were totally on fire. Mari and Ley sat down and had their cup of tea. And that was the end of that.

"WAIT! NOT YET!" Suddenly out of the blue! Rufus jumped down the stairs! "Put out the fire! My girlfriend! You're burning my girlfriend! WALLLLLLLL!" He crumpled to his feet and looked at the wall in front of him burn.

And that was about the end of the day. Everybody lived happily ever after. That is until the hospital fees and monthly maintenance bill came.


End file.
